I lost my beloved Canon SD1000 Digital Elph camera. It went with my everywhere, and subsequently fell out of my pocket on the metro en route to work yesterday.

I need a replacement. I want something small (pocket sized), preferably something similar since I have extra batteries and such for it and I like Canon’s gear.

What do you all use and love? My one major gripe with the SD1000 was the grainy photos, even in decent lighting. I know it’s a lot of task from a pocket sized camera, but is there a better choice?

Before you go offering any DSLRs, I know I want one but the time financially is not right to make that leap. So let’s keep it under $400 or so.

So tell me, what do you all love, use, drool over in store windows or online stores?

Coming home on I-64W out of Virginia Beach we saw a car swerve off the road, spin in a full 360 on the shoulder and crash into the embankment off the right shoulder.

The doors opened and people got out seemingly ok. A red minivan stopped. Presumable to assist.

I am 99% sure this was the same little black car I saw swerving in and out of our lane around other cars in the rain-slicked roads just a few minutes before.

The journey into why is a frightening one. For most of my life I have lived by the 10 Commandments. Not on a conscience level but as a general rule for how I conduct myself.

Most importantly, I have lived by the golden rule do unto others as you'd have them do unto you.

Treat people how you wish to be treated. I never really considered why I lived this way. I credit it to good parenting and upbringing. It always seemed like the right way to live. Why should I hurt others when I could work for the greater good? That way everyone benefits. I live for the greater good. I never really questioned why. Until now.

In recent months I've been dipping my toes into religion. Don't worry, I'm not going full on born again. I have been exploring Mormonism. My girlfriend is Mormon. The biggest reason is their belief of an eternal family. They believe once you die you go on living with your family forever. None of that "til death so us part" nonsense. The process is not automatic (and honestly not one I fully understand yet) and involves a temple marriage and being "sealed" to each other.

So once you're sealed in a temple, you live with your family forever.

I've never given much thought to an afterlife but if there is one, being with your family sounds pretty good to me. Where is all thing backstory taking us? The questioning of WHY?

Why do we live like we do? Why do we act as we do?

I often think about introspection and try to look inward as much as I can because It's the key to understanding yourself. Part of that is questioning why.
I have not questioned myself why in a long time. I realized this as I found myself incredibly sad one Sunday afternoon and couldn't figure out why. I had just come from church. And I was a mental mess. I just wasn't feeling it.

I hear all the time of people speaking of the comfort religion brings them. I didn't see it. Maybe I need to try harder.

In my discussion with my girlfriend she pointed out how I was basically a good person as far as religion goes. I don't smoke. I don't drink. Never touched drugs. I'm pretty boring.

The other trigger was the message from church itself. The message was about giving yourself to God and letting him into your life. The message was presented well and in a sensical, applicable way.

However, that is a main point of contention for me because I've seen it taken too far to often. You can't expect God to run your own life. You can't look at thing and go, "God will take care of me" and not help yourself. God will only take it so far. You need to help.

God will help you out and nudge you on the right direction. He will be your guide to life and try to push you down the right path. He won't drove the car or be your gps. He'll ride along and suggest routes along the way.

This was originally written on Feb. 23, 2009 and never posted. I am posting it now.

Let's step back.
I moved.

I picked up my life of 8 years from Richmond and moved to Alexandria earlier this month. I lived in Richmond from 2000 when I left Berryville for college and have been there for about 4 years after graduating working a combination of design, IT Support, and printing jobs.

On a whim I went for a job interview in Washington, D.C. for a real, full-time, non-contracting job. And much to my surprise, I got it!

I am now living in Alexandria near Old Town and its beautiful architecture and river. I'm taking a subway to work everyday then a brisk walk to The Watergate Complex where I am working as a Desktop Support Tech for The Atlantic Media Company

I no longer drive daily. I get in the car two or three times per week at most. I get to use the wonderful public transportation system to get me to and from work. I am also excited to use it to explore Washington.

I love the subway. Two weeks in to the job, I still love the subway! There's much to be said about commuting via car or letting someone else do the driving. I love no longer driving everyday. It's much more relaxing.

I love my job. I love having benefits, the perks (bagels and juice in the AM, popcorn/crackers and sodas in the afternoon everyday), I love paid time off. I love being part of a team and a full time employee. I love the projects I'll get to work on. I love building my MacPro fort as I test them.

Most of all, I love the stability. It's a major weight off my head now that I am fully employed and no longer contracting. I am now fully in control of my future and my career. I no longer get a chunk of my salary taken off the top every payday. I no longer have to worry about the contract changing hands and me being out in the cold.

And it's been very, very cold.

The struggle is real. The struggle is never ending.

There come times in life where I need to evaluate where I'm at, where I'd like to be, and how I am to get there. There comes times in life where the place I am and the place I want to be are not going to ever connect. You can't get there from here.

So it's time to change. Big change. Little change. But change.

Change is the catalyst that's led to my greatest struggles and my greatest triumphs. Even with change, the best laid plans can go awry and lead me right back to struggle. As they have many times before. Forcing moves. Forcing financial and personal loss. But in the end, I come out a better person for it. Even if it doesn't seem like it.

After each change, there is learning. Learning what I did right. Learning what I did wrong. But there is learning. Maybe I did well. Maybe I screwed it all up and ignored some major things I shouldn't have but what's done is done.

I always feel it is important to look back. Looking back provides context. Clarity. Using the 20/20 hindsight is important to evaluate a situation long after being in the thick of it trying the best I could at the time. Hoping for the best.

It all comes back to the struggle.

Life is a struggle. Even in the best of times, unexpected hardships can take easy street to a sketchy drug-filled gang corner. All it takes is a second.

A single moment in time can make all the different in the world.

It can define the struggle. Or it can define us.

I will not be defined by my struggles. I do the best I can with what I have and move towards where I want to be. I'm moving faster than ever now.

It's been a struggle. It's still a struggle. Everyday.

But there's finally light at the end of the tunnel.
It's been a long.
Dark.
Long.
Submerged.
Tunnel.

But I can finally see the end. See the light. Bask in its warmth and tiny glow. There's still months before the glow, but I can see it. I know it's there. That's the important part of the struggle.

Knowing it will come to an end. We always tell ourselves it'll get better. Things will improve. However, it's hard to believe that when all you see is more struggle.

But when you see the end, you know there is hope. And it lights your spirits.

At the end of every struggle, there is hope.

I'm at the hope phase.

My body is a road map of pain.

I can't begin to describe how thankful I am that software will not only check for new updates to itself, but will download and install them.

What to do with this.
What to do with anything.
So much has changed...

Dear Livejournal,

After all these years why do you not have a decent search? Even Xanga, which I joined in the pre-dawn age of 2001 has a good search feature. I feel like anything I type here will go into the black hole. Never to be seen or heard from again.

Love,
Carl

Spacious 3 bedroom apartment in a safe, quiet neighborhood off Parham the West End. the 1100 sq. ft apartment features spacious closets, renovated kitchen and baths and central air, dish washer, and full-sized washer and dryer. No more trips outside or piles of quarters to clean your clothes.

Dominion Olde West is 5 minutes from I-64, 10 minutes from I-95 (Parham Exits). It's also within walking distance of Dumbarton Elementary School and Hermitage High School. The apartment looks like this floorplan. Except flipped (Dining room on left, balcony on right). Apartment is up a small flight of stairs on the second level of a 3 story townhouse. There is copious, unassigned parking, a pool, fitness area, and playground across the street.

You would be sharing the 3 bedroom with one female who is a recent VCU grad with a penchant for cooking delicious things and one cat who is very friendly to people but not as much to other animals and has some allergies so non-smokers preferred.

I hope to find someone by Feb 9th but I will be paying the entire month of February, so if you move in you'll only be responsible for utilities until March. The current lease ends the end of the July.

If you're interested, drop me an email or give me a call at 757-374-9919.

As of 2:04am on January 22, 2009 I have accepted a position in Washington, D.C. Starting in early February. I have a salary. And benefits!!!

Well, I have Windows on the new aluminum MacBook.
However, my girlfriend's sister has no Leopard disc and the Rev 2 Leopard disc doesn't have the proper drivers.

So we have Windows. Just no...
Video drivers.
Network drivers (wired or wireless)
Bluetooth drivers
Audio drivers

...

You get the idea.
I downloaded a Boot Camp update 2.1 in hopes it would contain something useful.
It did not.

So it's installed... kinda...

Before I capsize.

Before I overcorrect.

Righting the ship now.

It's amazing how soul sucking a job could be. If it weren't for fear of losing my unemployment benefit, I would have declined it. But I couldn't. So I'm there. Wasting my hours, my days, my life.

And when I get home, I feel so drained. I just want to curl up and sleep or lose myself in a game. I don't want to face the world or do things to better myself.

I just want to escape.

Playing with poladroid.net (mac users GET IT! Windows users, coming in November)

Looks like the cat is out of the bag.

Let's get it on!